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American Jokes And Humor - 2

This is page 2 of our collection of American jokes and humor.

You know you're a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains but your pickup does.

You know you're a redneck if both your dog and your wallet are on a chain.

Customer: How much is a haircut?
Barber: Eight dollars.
Customer: How much is a shave?
Barber: A buck.
Customer: In that case, shave my hair off.

This guy was walking along a beach when he found a magic lamp. He picked the lamp up and rubbed the side of it. Sure enough, a genie popped out. The genie said, "Thank you for getting me/out of that lamp. In return, I will grant you one wish." So the guy thought about it and said, "I want a foreign car dealership in a major metropolitan city." Pooof, he had a Chrysler dealership in Tokyo...

These two ladies were walking down the street when they came across a frog. The frog said, "Kiss me and I will turn into a handsome Texas oil man." One lady reached down, grabbed the frog and put it in her purse. The other looked at her and said, "Aren't you going to kiss that frog?" She replied, "No! A talking frog is worth a lot more money than a Texas oil man......"

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
If it had four, it would be a sedan.

Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Two Californians are stranded on a desert island. One day, a raft floats up to the island. So, they used the wood to make a hot tub.

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been any around here for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely towards the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

"Did you ever hear of a buccaneer?"
"No..."
"Well, it's too much to pay for corn!"

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A Randomly Selected Joke

You can find more like this in the Old Age category