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American Jokes And Humor

Here is our collection of American jokes and humor. This is page 1 of 3

There are 24 jokes in this category.

The state of Missouri has vigorously tried to get some of the other states bordering on the Mississippi River to join in an urgently needed flood control project. This is because Missouri loves company.

How can Congress trim the fat from Federal spending?
By switching to lo-cal government.

A guide was showing a Texan Niagara Falls.
Guide: I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas.
Texan: Nope, I reckon we don't, but we got plumbers that could fix it.

President Bush has noted that there are too many economic pundits and forecasters and has decided to introduce an excess prophets tax.

You know you live in a small town when :
Even a 4 year old can tear the phone book in half.
You turn on your oven, and the street lights dim.
Everyone reads the newspaper to see if the reporter got it right.
The water tower is made by Dixie Cup.
The "Welcome To" and "Thanks For Visiting" signs are mounted on the same pole.
Everyones phone number has only 1 digit.
The only traffic light in town is at a cattle crossing.
This years United Way drive netted a record $1.75 in contributions.

Two Californians are stranded on a desert island. One day, a raft floats up to the island. So, they used the wood to make a hot tub.

You know you're a redneck if directions to your house include: and then you turn off the paved road...

You know you're a redneck if going to the bathroom at night involves putting on your shoes and carrying a flashlight.

You know you're a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper quality entertainment.

You know you're a redneck if in your wedding picture, you had a toothpick in your mouth.

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A Randomly Selected Joke

What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between you and me, something smells.

You can find more like this in the Jokes For Children category