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Humorous Insults

Here is our collection of humorous insults.

This is page 1 of 10

There are 95 jokes in this category.

Anna is so stupid she probably can't spell her name backwards.

I spend half my time trying to be witty.
Yes, you're a half wit.

Yes, I do like your dress - but isn't it a little early for Halloween?

I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.

If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.

Does the zoo know that you and the other baboons got loose?

Every time he walks past a beautiful woman she sighs - with relief.

Be careful not to let your mind wander. It's not strong enough to be allowed out on its own.

I'm not a genius, you're just stupid

There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me.

A Randomly Selected Joke
To: All Personnel
Subject: Absenteeism
It has become necessary for us to review some of our policies, due to frequent absenteeism of our employees.
The following changes are in effect as of today:
Sickness: NO EXCUSE....We will no longer accept your Doctor's statement of proof, and we believe that if you are able to go to the Doctor, you are able to come to work.
Death:(OTHER THAN YOUR OWN)....This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else with a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.
Leave of Absence: (FOR AN OPERATION)....We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation, as we believe as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.
Death: (YOUR OWN)....This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like two weeks notice. We feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
Also, too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00 to 8:15, "B" will go from 8:15 to 8:30, and so on. If you are unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again.
You can find more like this in the Office Humor category