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Jokes About Animals
There are 23 jokes in this category. Did you hear about the animal hotel that has exclusive accommodation for squirrels?
The three bears sit down at the breakfast table. Baby bear says, "who's been eating my porridge?"
Have you ever notice that when the doorbell rings, the dog's the first one to the door, but it's never for him?
There was a farmer who rebuilt an old barn on his property. He kept the cows, pigs, chickens and the plowhorse in that barn. But the birds were so used to using that barn as a nesting place that they kept devilin' the poor old horse. The farmer went to the mayor (who was also a baker) for help in exterminating the birds. The mayor told him to sprinkle yeast on the barn floor, which the farmer did. Lo and behold---it worked! The next day, the farmer went back to the mayor and asked how it was possible. The mayor said, "Easy. Yeast is yeast and nest is nest, and never the mane shall tweet."
There were these three wildebeests out in the desert: a Papa wildebeest, a
Mama wildebeest, and a baby wildebeest. They're travelling along, trying to
get home, but they get lost and are trying to find their way out of the desert.
The sun beats down and it gets hotter and hotter. The poor wildebeests get
thirstier and weaker. Finally, the Papa wildebeest collapses from the heat and
dies. The Mama and baby continue, but soon the Mama wildebeest also collapses
and dies. The baby struggles on for a while, but he, too, is finally overcome
and dies.
What is the most vulnerable animal in the world?
When his car suddenly grinds to a halt on a lonely country road the driver tries to restart it but to no avail. So he gets out and opens the bonnet and starts fiddling with the sparkplugs.
An old cat had made his home in the alley behind Joe's bar for some time, existing on scraps and occasional handouts from the barman. One evening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Joe through the back door. Regrettably, only the his body had made it through when Joe slammed the door, severing the cat's tail at its base. This proved too much for the old creature, who looked sadly at Joe and expired on the spot. Joe put the carcass back out in the alley and went back to business. The mandatory closing time arrived and Joe was in the process of locking up after the last customers had gone. Approaching the back door he was startled to see an apparition of the old cat mournfully holding its severed tail out, silently pleading for Joe to put the tail back on its corpse so that it could go on to the kitty afterworld complete. Joe shook his head sadly and said to the ghost: "I can't. You know the law: I can't retail spirits after 2:00 AM."
George: Our dog is just like one of our family.
A hungry lion was searching the jungle looking for food. In a clearing he spotted two men. One was sitting on a rock, reading a book; the other was writing a letter. Without a moment's hesitation, the lion pounced on the man reading the book and ate him.
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