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Christmas Jokes And Humor - 2

This is page 2 of Christmas jokes and humor to help you see the humorous side of the festive season.

Merry Christmas

What do you call the fear of meeting a fat man in a red suit in a confined space?
Santaclaustrophobia.

What do you call a woman that only comes out at Christmas?
Carol.

Famous book - Want a kiss? by Miss L Toh

What is the most popular wine at Christmas?
Do I have to eat the Brussels sprouts?

What do you call Santa's little helpers?
Subordinate clauses.

If you receive a parcel of herbs and spices at Christmas time would it be labelled 'Seasons Greetings'?

Why did the boy's grandmother knit him three sock as a Christmas present?
Because he wrote and told her that he had grown an extra foot.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas.

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were all riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $100 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

The Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the general luck and overall mood of the year by watching the the gnu. If the gnu's ears were forward, that meant a successful, joyous year was almost certain to happen. But if his ears were laid back flat against his head, it meant that an unlucky or very unhappy year was sure to come. One year it was young Mary's turn to "survey" the animal and come up with the prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to take the key to the cage. She was late in coming to check on the gnu. Well, she saw the wrong ear position and predicted a bad year, when in fact it was quite good.
To explain the error, the local newspaper ran the following headline a year later: MARY CRIST MISSES AN HAPPY GNU'S EAR!

You will find more Christmas humor at our two other jokes sites:-

Jokes about Christmas and Jokes about Christmas

Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3

A Randomly Selected Joke
Waiter, there's a piece of soap in my soup.
That's to wash it down with sir.
You can find more like this in the Jokes About Restaurants & Food category