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Christmas Jokes And Humor

Here are some funny jokes and humor about christmas or xmas as it is often called. This is page 1 of 3

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a Christmas present.

I wouldn't say he is stupid, but, he thinks that Christmas Eve is a tug of war contest.

Why did the shopkeeper put bells on his scales each Christmas?
So they would jingle all the weigh.

What Christmas carol do monsters sing each Christmas?
Deck the halls with poison ivy...

Why does Santa Claus always come down the chimney to deliver your Christmas presents?
Because it soots him.

Why did Father Christmas become unemployed?
Because the elves gave him the sack.

What carol does Tarzan sing each Christmas?
Jungle bells.

Why is a cat lost in the desert like Christmas time?
Because it has sandy claws.

What do you call a man who hosts a television quiz show on Christmas day?
Santa Clues.

What do you call a man who only works on the perfume counter of the department store at Christmas time?
Frank in scents.

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A Randomly Selected Joke

A man went into a restaurant and ordered a bowl of vegetable soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of liquid right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called the waitress over and said, "It's all wet down here. The bowl must be cracked."
The waitress said, "You ordered vegetable soup, didn't you?
"Yes."
"Well maybe it has a leek in it!"

You can find more like this in the British Humour category