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Jokes And Funny Stories About Doctors - 3

This is page 3 of jokes and funny stories about doctors.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I can't stop eating cheese and biscuits.
Doctor: You must be crackers.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, will this lotion clear up my spots?
Doctor: I don't want to make any rash promises.

Doctor: I'm afraid I've got some bad news and I've got some really bad news.
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Well, you only have about twenty-four hours to live I'm afraid.
Patient: That's terrible, so what's the really bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel like a piano.
Doctor: Well, I'd better make some notes.

Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop eating dates.
Doctor: What's wrong with that?
Patient: I've run out of calendars.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a canary.
Sorry I can't tweet you, go and see a vet.

Doctor, doctor.
Every time I drink a mug of hot coffee, I get a pain in my eye.
Doctor: Try taking the spoon out before you drink it.

A man went in to his doctor complaining that he was very short sighted. The doctor took him outside and pointed to the sky, "what can you see" asked the doctor, " the sun" replied the man. "Well how far do you want to see?" the doctor replied.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaad!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog.
Sit!

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