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Girlfriend Jokes and Humor - 2

Here are more jokes and funny stories about girlfriends.

My girlfriend is a beautiful redhead - no hair, just a red head.

My girlfriend is the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they just can't believe it the first time.

I can't understand why people say my girlfriend's legs look like matchsticks.
It's true that they look like sticks - but they certainly don't match.

The man at the bar was boasting, "The woman who becomes my son's girlfriend will be getting a great prize."
On hearing this a young woman asked him, "And exactly what prize would you give me for becoming his girlfriend?"

My girlfriend always makes me melt-in-your-mouth dinners. She always forgets to defrost them.

Fred: My girlfriend is one of twins.
Brian: How can you tell them apart?
Fred: It's easy, her brother's got a beard.

All women are beautiful, some are just less beautiful than others.

My girlfriend has helped make me a millionaire.
Really.
Yes, before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

Why doen't your girlfriend wear lipstick?
Because she can't keep her mouth still long enough to put it on.

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A Randomly Selected Joke

Did you hear about the Scotsman who married a girl born on the 29th of February?
He had to buy her a birthday present only once every four years.

You can find more like this in the Scottish Jokes category