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Jokes About Restaurants and Food - 2

This is page 2 of jokes and humor about restaurants and food.

Diner: Waiter, the crust on this apple pie is very tough.
Waiter: That is not the crust, Sir, it is the paper plate.

Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Yes sir, we serve anybody.

Two guys go into a small diner for breakfast, the waitress comes up and asks for their order. The first one says "I'll have two eggs over easy, toast, and juice." "And I'll have two eggs scrambled, toast, and juice in a clean glass" says the other.
The waitress comes some time later and asks "...now which of you asked for the clean glass?"

A guy in a restaurant says to the waitress "I want a cup of coffee without cream." The waitress comes back a few minutes later and says "I'm sorry, but we're all out of cream. Would you mind taking your coffee without milk?"

Diner: Waiter do you have any wild duck?
Waiter: No, we don't have any, but we can take a tame duck and make him angry if you like.

Diner: Waiter, there's no turtle in this turtle soup.
Waiter: Of course not, and there's no horse in the horseradish sauce either.

This table is reserved.
The other is extroverted.

Diner: Waiter, this pancake tastes terrible.
Waiter: That's because you've just eaten the paper plate, sir.

Diner: Waiter there's a twig in my soup.
Waiter: Hold on sir, I'll call the branch manager.

Waiter, waiter. I don't like the flies in here.
Well come back tomorrow sir, we'll have some new ones by then.

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A Randomly Selected Joke

Who had a bushy tail and was executed for trying to blow up Parliament?
Guy Fox.

You can find more like this in the British Humour category