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Jokes And Funny Stories About Sports - 2

This is page 2 of jokes and funny stories about sports.

A sensational new shortstop was being interviewed by the press. The trouble was, the guy spoke so quietly no one could hear him. One of them finally asked the coach, "What's the matter with him?" "Nothing at all," replied the coach. "That's just the way the rookie mumbles."

Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.

Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.

Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.

No matter how you slice it, it's still a golf ball.

"How should I have played that last shot?" the bad golfer asked his caddy.
"Under an assumed name" was the reply.

Golfer: Caddy, why do you keep looking at your watch?
Caddy: It's not a watch, it's a compass.

It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite. He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not too far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a minute and WHAM! a Largemouth Bass hit his hook and the boy pulled in the fish. The old man couldn't believe it but figured it was just luck. But, the boy dropped in his line and again within just a few minutes pulled in another one. This went on and on until finally the old man couldn't take it any more since he hadn't caught a thing all this time.
He went to the boy and said, "Son, I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You have been here only a few minutes and have caught about half a dozen fish! How do you do it?"
The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."
"What was that?" the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm."
"Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you are saying."
So, the boy spat into his hand and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!"

The golfer had lost his ball and was a little annoyed with his caddy: "Why didn't you watch where it went?"
"Well sir," said the caddy, "it don't usually go anywhere, so when you did hit the ball, it sort of caught me by surprise."

Useless Golfer: I expect you get a good many weekenders on this golf course?
Caddie: Yes, plus quite a few weak beginners.

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A Randomly Selected Joke

A zookeeper spotted a man throwing 20 pound notes into the penguin enclosure.
"Why are you doing that?" he asked the man.
The man replied, "the sign says that it is allowed."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does. It says Do not feed the Penguins. £20 fine."

You can find more like this in the Animal Jokes category