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Jokes And Funny Stories About Sports - 2

This is page 2 of jokes and funny stories about sports.

Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.

No matter how you slice it, it's still a golf ball.

"How should I have played that last shot?" the bad golfer asked his caddy.
"Under an assumed name" was the reply.

Golfer: Caddy, why do you keep looking at your watch?
Caddy: It's not a watch, it's a compass.

It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite. He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not too far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a minute and WHAM! a Largemouth Bass hit his hook and the boy pulled in the fish. The old man couldn't believe it but figured it was just luck. But, the boy dropped in his line and again within just a few minutes pulled in another one. This went on and on until finally the old man couldn't take it any more since he hadn't caught a thing all this time.
He went to the boy and said, "Son, I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You have been here only a few minutes and have caught about half a dozen fish! How do you do it?"
The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."
"What was that?" the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm."
"Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you are saying."
So, the boy spat into his hand and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!"

The golfer had lost his ball and was a little annoyed with his caddy: "Why didn't you watch where it went?"
"Well sir," said the caddy, "it don't usually go anywhere, so when you did hit the ball, it sort of caught me by surprise."

Useless Golfer: I expect you get a good many weekenders on this golf course?
Caddie: Yes, plus quite a few weak beginners.

The top scorer of a soccer team was tragically killed in a car accident one evening. Seeing an opportunity for glory, the reserve striker went in to see the boss. "How about me taking his place" he asked.
"I'm not sure about that," said the manager, "I'll have to speak to the undertaker first."

There was a big baseball game. The night before the game, the coach told the team that they would have a 10 P.M. curfew, but the pitcher, Mel Famey, decided curfews weren't his style. He went out to a bar, where he found some members of the opposing team. With lots of dares and other macho means, they had Mel chugging quite a few there, the town being quite famous for its beer. They kept pouring it down Mel's throat.
The next day was a bad one for poor Mel. He walked one batter after another, gave up lots of hits, and his team lost by an astronomical score.So the town became more famous than ever for its beer.
It was later to be known as "The Beer That Made Mel Famey Walk Us."

John had been fishing all day with no luck. On his way home, he went to the fish market and asked the clerk, "Mister, just stand there and throw me several of your biggest bass." The clerk was puzzled. "Throw them?
What's the idea?" John replied, "I may be a bad fisherman, but I'm not a liar. I want to be able to tell my wife that I caught them."

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