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Jokes About Sports

Here is our selection of sports jokes.

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There are 20 jokes in this category.

Near the end of a tense golf match, a temperamental player was thrown off his game. His caddie, it seems, had developed a severe case of hiccups. It continued for several holes and finally on the eighteenth hold the man's drive sliced into a grove of trees. Slamming his club to the ground, he turned on his caddie. "That was because of you and your hiccups!"
"But, I didn't hiccup then, sir," protested the caddie.
"That's just the point," screamed the player. "I had 'allowed' for it!"

God and St. Peter were playing golf one day. St. Peter teed his ball up and hit it. It was a real nice shot about three hundred yards down the fairway. Then God teed his ball up. He took a big swing and hit it. At first it looked like a real nice shot. Then all of a sudden, it hooked and started for the woods. Just before it went into the woods, a bird flew out and grabbed the ball and flew over the water trap and let it go. Just before it went into the water, a turtle surfaced. The ball landed on it's back as he swam to the shore. Just as the turtle got to the shore, a squirrel ran out of the woods and grabbed the ball. Then the squirrel ran up on the green and dropped the ball in the cup.
St. Peter turned to God and said, "Are we gonna play golf, or are you gonna mess around!!"

Why is Count Dracula a useless goalkeeper?
He hates crosses.

Golf - the sport in which you shout "Fore!", shoot five and write three.

A sensational new shortstop was being interviewed by the press. The trouble was, the guy spoke so quietly no one could hear him. One of them finally asked the coach, "What's the matter with him?" "Nothing at all," replied the coach. "That's just the way the rookie mumbles."

Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.

Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.

Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.

No matter how you slice it, it's still a golf ball.

"How should I have played that last shot?" the bad golfer asked his caddy.
"Under an assumed name" was the reply.

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