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Jokes About Sports

Here is our selection of sports jokes. This is page 1 of 3

There are 26 jokes in this category.

Why was the boxer known a Picasso?
Because he spent so much time on the canvas.

What do you call a loud mouthed soccer fan?
A foot bawler.

I went fly-fishing yesterday.
Did you catch anything?
Yes, a two-pound bluebottle.

What's the difference between your local soccer team and a teabag?
The teabag stays in the cup longer.

Why was Cinderella useless at football?
Because she kept running away from the ball.

He was such a useless boxer that they called him Rembrandt - because he was always on the canvas.

Near the end of a tense golf match, a temperamental player was thrown off his game. His caddie, it seems, had developed a severe case of hiccups. It continued for several holes and finally on the eighteenth hold the man's drive sliced into a grove of trees. Slamming his club to the ground, he turned on his caddie. "That was because of you and your hiccups!"
"But, I didn't hiccup then, sir," protested the caddie.
"That's just the point," screamed the player. "I had 'allowed' for it!"

God and St. Peter were playing golf one day. St. Peter teed his ball up and hit it. It was a real nice shot about three hundred yards down the fairway. Then God teed his ball up. He took a big swing and hit it. At first it looked like a real nice shot. Then all of a sudden, it hooked and started for the woods. Just before it went into the woods, a bird flew out and grabbed the ball and flew over the water trap and let it go. Just before it went into the water, a turtle surfaced. The ball landed on it's back as he swam to the shore. Just as the turtle got to the shore, a squirrel ran out of the woods and grabbed the ball. Then the squirrel ran up on the green and dropped the ball in the cup.
St. Peter turned to God and said, "Are we gonna play golf, or are you gonna mess around!!"

Why is Count Dracula a useless goalkeeper?
He hates crosses.

Golf - the sport in which you shout "Fore!", shoot five and write three.

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A Randomly Selected Joke

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot.

You can find more like this in the What Do? category