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Office Jokes And Humor

Here is our collection of funny office jokes and humor. Just the thing to help you pass the time on a Friday afternoon when your boss is out of the office and you have no work to do. This is page 1 of 4

Fred: How did it go when you asked the boss for a salary increase?
Joe: He was just like a lamb?
Fred: What do you mean?
Joe: He said bah!

They call him the caterpillar.
Why do they call him that?
He got where he is by crawling.

Make sure that you don't become irreplaceable to your boss. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

I have a very responsible job.
In the office where I work, whenever a mistake is made, my boss tells his boss that I'm responsible for it.

Boss to his new secretary: "I need you to file these papers for me."
Secretary: Wouldn't it be easier to just trim with scissors?"

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

He who works hard, makes mistakes.
He who doesn't work, doesn't make mistakes.
He who doesn't make mistakes gets promoted.

This is a story about four people named everybody, somebody, anybody and nobody. There was an important job to be done and everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was everybody's job. Everybody thought anybody could do it but nobody realized that everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that everybody blamed somebody when nobody did what anybody could have done.

Rule 1: The boss is always right.
Rule 2: When the boss is wrong, refer to Rule 1.

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