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Old Age Jokes - 2

This is page 2 of jokes about getting old and old age.

Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.

Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.

Old typists never die, they just lose their justification.

Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.

Old actors never die, they just drop apart.

Instead of getting older and wiser my husband is getting older and wider.

You know you are getting old when you turn back to look at the little old lady you are helping to cross the road and realise that she is your wife.

Old dry cleaners never die, they just get depressed.

Old bed-makers nver die, they just get debunked.

HOW TO KNOW YOUR GROWING OLD:
1. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
2. Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
3. You get winded playing chess.
4. You look forward to a dull evening.
5. You turn out the light for economic rather then romantic reasons.
6. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
7. Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
8. Dialing long distance wears you out.
9. Your back goes out more than you do.
10. You sink youe teeth into a steak and they stay there.
11. A fortune teller offers to read your face.
12. You got to much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
13. Your children look middle aged.
14. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

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A Randomly Selected Joke

When the powerful king found his throne missing, the next day, he ordered HIS army to kidnap the other king's count and force him to tell where the throne was being hidden. The session went as follows:
King: Where is the throne?
Count: I cannot tell you.
King: Then I will have you killed!
Executioner, cut off his head!Ok! I will tell you!
THWACK!!!
Moral: don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.

You can find more like this in the Miscellaneous Jokes category