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What Do - Jokes - 6

What do you get if you cross a burglar with a concrete mixer?
A hardened criminal.

What do you give to a deer with an upset tummy?
Elk-a-seltzer

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

What do you call a camel with three humps?
Humphrey.

What do you get if you cross a freeway with a skateboard?
Run over.

What do you call a man with a legal document on his head?
Will.

What do you call a woman with a strong wind on her head?
Gail.

What do you call someone who can chop down sixty trees everyday?
A good feller.

What do you call a man covered in beef, vegetables and gravy?
Stu.

What do you get if you cross an eagle with a skunk?
A bird that stinks to high heaven.

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A Randomly Selected Joke

A man in his 40's bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Merecedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 110.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

You can find more like this in the Car Driving category